Posted by: newenglandsup | May 20, 2011

Getting My Head Back into It

It’s been a very long while since I’ve posted anything. My brother Dave’s death last August, two days before the CCBC, affected me in ways that don’t seem reasonable. Somehow this blog became associated with it. Every time I’ve tried to write here it hurt. Maybe its a feeling of guilt. Dave had a heart attack and drowned while trying to help someone keep their sailboat off the rocks. Dave was a big guy and I often thought that SUP might help him like it did me. We talked about it but I just never got around to getting him on a board. Then he was gone. When someone who’s always been there for you (I’ve always been his “little” brother) dies and you feel like maybe there was something you could have done….tough expressing the depth of the pain. I still tear up when I think of him. I’m still having a hard time writing here…silly I know…but it is what it is.

I need to get beyond it though and writing here again may help in a small way. The primary reason for starting this blog was to share my passion for the sport. Hopefully encouraging others that might be struggling with health issues, particularly those with balance problems like my own, to get out and push themselves beyond where they may have thought possible. It’s not easy for most folks to understand what standup means to me. It gave me a normal life again. It lead to the creation of the Cape Cod Bay Challenge with my good friend Mike. Now with the help of a lot of others I’m giving back in a way that gives meaning to my life that for me is only approached by how being a Dad makes me feel. Last year the money we raised helped 16 kids and their families while they underwent treatment for cancer. I’ve never been involved with anything with such special purpose.

So it’s time to get back into it. To spread the word about what this amazing sport has the potential to do for folks and to promote the importance of the CCBC and the event series we’ve grown around it. A piece of Dave lives on inside me. Not just in the DNA. I know how much he cared about people and I hope I can do his memory justice.

Thanks for always having my back bro, I love you and miss you.

CCBC Ohana in 2010 helping brother Bill and I get through it.

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